intelligence
way I spoke with Judith Glaser about how intelligence of the conversation can help you communicate with others and develop their careers . Glaser is the author of chat intelligence : How great leaders build trust and achieve extraordinary results, CEO of Link Communications, Inc. , and President of the U.S. Institute creative . way Here is a brief interview we will ask questions about the intelligence of the conversation , his tips for communicating more effectively in the office, how to customize your message, and more. intelligence
Dan Schawbel : What is the intelligence of the conversation and why it is important for employees and managers to work ? way
Judith Glaser is wired intelligence and learning ability to converse , connect , browse and grow with others - a necessity in building healthy organizations with resistance to change. Intelligence talk measure the level of trust you create with others - and the quality of interactions and conversations that result . intelligence way
Conversations with three levels, each one has a purpose and result . Everyone can do this effectively the intent and effect are aligned, or can be made ineffective in this case , raise emotions and unexpected feelings and lead to an erosion of trust. way
Dan : What are your tips for workplace conversations more effective ? Career
Judith : There are many good tips conversational intelligence - however, there are some who are the backbone to have more effective conversations . If you want to increase your C -IQ - LAPS do intelligence
Listen not connect reject - when we hear connected , we are listening without judging. People pick up signals quickly and judgment on the defensive. Listen to connect is perceived as "positive" and stimulates more oxytocin , which is the hormone binding . way Career
Ask questions for which we have no answers - too often we ask questions to guide people where we want them to go. This is perceived by others as leading questions , and can be interpreted as manipulation , put people on hold. When we ask what the do not have the answers , we are in a mood of discovery and others think that too inquisitive and curious - that puts people into a co - creation and receptive state of mind. intelligence
First trust - Begin by establishing good relationships with others . way Take time to get to know them as individuals. This initiates the conversation and confidence . Started commitment or exchange in a positive way . Heat the conversation "and gives people the opportunity to " feel each other " - and return an indication that they are trustworthy . Their conversation will be radically different at the same time . way
Keep talk agility - if the conversation is blocked , or did not get the results I expected ( the intent and impact are not synchronized ) , use skills like agility rethink , refocus and redirect . When you see a reaction that did not intend or want to create, says - " Let me paraphrase another way. " That you and the other person gives you the opportunity to recover the spirit and be open to another way to interpret what is happening . It's like " constituent " and move on to a better way of conversation. way
Dan : How do you know when to change the tone and message in the conversation to suit the audience and situation ?
Judith : We always send signals to each other about how we feel about a conversation while it is happening . However, we have not been trained to understand exactly what these signals are and how to interpret them in a healthy way for us lacks a dialogue of the deaf or stop listening ... way
Our brain takes the messages of trust and distrust in 0.07 seconds - is that moment . While we receive the " sensation, feeling , seeing and hearing " signals we are trying to treat and put words on them. It takes much more time to interpret what we feel or pick up and usually add interpretations and meanings that do not exist. way
I created a discussion board that makes it easier to interpret and respond to the " signs" that something is wrong .
When you see people resist - this is a sign that the reptilian brain (often called the amygdala ) has been activated and that the person is protected behavior. When this happens , pushing to be aggressive , not to say too much or require compliance will only increase resistance behaviors . Know that it is time to stop " the amygdala is not worse . way Lowering his voice , to be more sensitive to their needs and give them the space to send messages to the amygdala that you are not an enemy and not a friend . Such are the subtle cues that are exchanged every minute during a call . Knowing how to move people to the left of the right panel discussion is essential and vital for today's leaders . way
Dan : What are the ways to connect with people from different generations and levels of an organization?
Judith : Research shows that it is easier for us to get along with people who collect our brains that are similar or different and react accordingly, "like us" . way People of different generations can be seen as "different" - and in many ways they are. Career Boomers think differently baby boomers , for example, but these differences should not prevent people from participating and connect. Where is the difference or generational position , the answer is the same - instead of fear or a judge as difficult or different, enter the conversation with curiosity and openness to connect . way Respect goes a long way to open the connection between the mind and spirit. Getting others stimulates the flow of oxytocin , and let's get to know each other much easier. Do not forget to use the Tours conversation ... ( Question 2 ) Career
Dan : What are the most common mistakes when workers are involved in important conversations ? way
Judith : By participating in important conversations fear takes over too often. When we are in situations where the stakes are high , there is much to lose. This allows the production of " cortisol " , which is the fear of the hormone. We call this imagination " dreaded consequences " - or worst . Our behavior happening at the time . way Talk - Sale - Behavior Yell and fight for what we want to happen . We become addicted to being right , and stop listening to what others say. However, we can not recognize until it is too late or not at all. Career In essence , activate the opposite behavior we want to bring the situation . way We lose our voice activates our "blind spots" and do not see the consequences , we pause to listen, watch and listen to others - at great cost . intelligence
way As if I had enough worries in his personal life with age ( creaking joints , discoloration Ophthalmology , Cialis ads really apply to you ) , there is nothing to worry about in your life as well : age discrimination . way Work
A recent survey by AARP New York found that nearly half of people over age 50 were concerned about age discrimination in the workplace. And with good reason. AARP also notes that people over 55 have four months to find a job. way And according to the Committee on Equal Employment Opportunity , cases of discrimination on grounds of age increased by more than 40 percent in the past 15 years. way Work
" Age Discrimination in the labor force is a sad reality ," said Dr. Colleen Georges, certified career and life coach . "Often , a candidate more than 50 may be considered by recruiters and hiring managers to be " too close to retirement "or" too set in their ways. way Some may worry about the lack of energy or motivation to learn, or even -50 candidate command too high wages. These misperceptions may annoy someone for an interview , go to the second stage of the interview process , or climb the ladder to positions of greater leadership. " way Work
So what is the best to avoid being labeled, stereotyped and looked over as you age ? Experts share their tips to look as young as you feel in an office environment , so people notice your talent , skills and experience before they notice their age. way Work
- 1) Get rid of your AOL email account . Since AOL has been around literally since the advent of the Internet, which reminds people of the dinosaur days "Dial Up" and often considered archaic email provider that can make you look out well . way What place should you ? " All things related to Google are the way to go at this time ," says George . "I usually advise clients to get a Gmail account . This is definitely the 'in' e- mail , constantly evolving in their capabilities." way
- 2) Get LinkedIn. Stat. It's free . It's easy, and really , you have no choice , experts say . way Work " This is not a luxury," says George . " Those who are not part of LinkedIn can be considered missing warned of social networks , which is a race no-no. way" Not being in the networking site could keep you out of the race for the post and give more young technology edge over other candidates . So a good head shot and build your profile today . way Work
Relative: 8 errors do LinkedIn
- 3 ) Allow a little ... uh ... the dates on your resume . Just as you would never tell a potential partner on the first date that you have $ 150,000 of debt, you should also do not know your age in your resume or during an interview. way}}} " I do not advocate lying or details of fraud," said George , " but for workers with years of his graduation in 1980 , I suggest you leave outside these dates . Suggest also to provide every 15-20 years experience , unless you are looking for a high position where experience is more valuable . " way Work
Related: 6 Great Summary Faults - and how to hide
- 4) Favorites Mashable . And read regularly . Nothing makes you look older than when a group of coworkers discuss recent debacle Miley Cyrus foam finger and coherence with you , "Who is Miley Cyrus ? " " Mashable is a perfect tote site that can keep you current on new courses , information, and issues of social media trends , "says George . " Even has a category called " water source , "which includes the best tracks from work-related conversation . " Other good sites to keep up on pop culture? Twitter , Facebook , Tumblr and Reddit . way Work
- 5) Do not act like you know everything. "Too often we make the mistake of highlighting what we believe to be our strength , wisdom and experience that can only serve to make us see , yeah , man , " said Pamela Redmond Satran , author of " how not to act old : . 185 ways to pass Phat , Sick , Hot , Dope, awesome , or at least not totally sucks " " of course , the institutional memory has its value, but to give a lecture on how things happened in 1986 is probably more relevant and remind them that you were there in '86 ( when they were probably in kindergarten.) way You can also make parents sound , which is a combination unconscious really want no increase. " Work Old
- 6) Do not make fun of Twitter. Way You may think that someone living tweeting his nephew Bar Mitzvah is the epitome of what is wrong with kids today , but the jokes about technological innovations defensive or social media are not going to go well , said Satran . way " Now that the Pope on Twitter , you should be too much and should " get "with Skype , Instagram , Pinterest , YouTube and Google Drive. Their younger colleagues may laugh at jokes technology , but are thinking really is sad." Work
- 7) Buy a scarf. Or the bag way . way " The accessories can instantly update your look and help you look more modern (read: in the know ) and distinctive ," says Kim Johnson Gross, author of " What to wear for the rest of his life. Secrets of Ageless Style " Try a modern and colorful bag , bold jewelry or an elegant shoe a sense of fun . " Scarves are timeless and help you look prettier , thinner , younger and chicer " he said. way Work
- 8) Pay attention to the color of the hair. " Whether you choose to dye the gray is really a personal preference , " says Johnson Gross. Old " But if you decide to try , keep in mind that the color black will be hard . Try warm colors and highlights more than a single process color. " He also said that a good modern haircut can do wonders to help gray hair look younger . way "Think Diane Keaton, " he said, " and the use of products to help a healthy, dynamic and dramatic opaque instead of money ." Work
Related: What does " Business Casual" really mean? Old
- 9) Look for companies that see it as an asset. " The truth for many experienced workers is that they have a great experience," says George . way " They have seen the ups and downs organizations , who have learned to be flexible to change , you can see the bigger picture , learned the difference in the value of their teams." Fortunately , there are organizations that know . When the job search , see the search sites dedicated to companies seeking candidates who have the knowledge and experience as JobsOver50.com , Workforce50.com , Seniors4Hire.org and Senior Job Bank.org . way Old
- 10) Be true to yourself . This advice your mother gave you when I was in college and had a small tear in your eye ? It applies here too. " When all is said and done , I think we have to be true to who we are," said George . Old " Wearing clothes that make you feel on top of your game , find work projects that fill you with energy and enthusiasm, and speak respectfully to you, your clients and colleagues. Neither these personality traits have anything to do with age, but that correlate with success and happiness. " way Old
