intelligenceway I spoke with Judith Glaser about how intelligence of the conversation can help you communicate with others and develop their careers . Glaser is the author of chat intelligence : How great leaders build trust and achieve extraordinary results, CEO of Link Communications, Inc. , and President of the U.S. Institute creative . way Here is a brief interview we will ask questions about the intelligence of the conversation , his tips for communicating more effectively in the office, how to customize your message, and more. intelligence
Dan Schawbel : What is the intelligence of the conversation and why it is important for employees and managers to work ? way
Judith Glaser is wired intelligence and learning ability to converse , connect , browse and grow with others - a necessity in building healthy organizations with resistance to change. Intelligence talk measure the level of trust you create with others - and the quality of interactions and conversations that result . intelligence way
Conversations with three levels, each one has a purpose and result . Everyone can do this effectively the intent and effect are aligned, or can be made ineffective in this case , raise emotions and unexpected feelings and lead to an erosion of trust. way
Dan : What are your tips for workplace conversations more effective ? Career
Judith : There are many good tips conversational intelligence - however, there are some who are the backbone to have more effective conversations . If you want to increase your C -IQ - LAPS do intelligence
Listen not connect reject - when we hear connected , we are listening without judging. People pick up signals quickly and judgment on the defensive. Listen to connect is perceived as "positive" and stimulates more oxytocin , which is the hormone binding . way Career
Ask questions for which we have no answers - too often we ask questions to guide people where we want them to go. This is perceived by others as leading questions , and can be interpreted as manipulation , put people on hold. When we ask what the do not have the answers , we are in a mood of discovery and others think that too inquisitive and curious - that puts people into a co - creation and receptive state of mind. intelligence
First trust - Begin by establishing good relationships with others . way Take time to get to know them as individuals. This initiates the conversation and confidence . Started commitment or exchange in a positive way . Heat the conversation "and gives people the opportunity to " feel each other " - and return an indication that they are trustworthy . Their conversation will be radically different at the same time . way
Keep talk agility - if the conversation is blocked , or did not get the results I expected ( the intent and impact are not synchronized ) , use skills like agility rethink , refocus and redirect . When you see a reaction that did not intend or want to create, says - " Let me paraphrase another way. " That you and the other person gives you the opportunity to recover the spirit and be open to another way to interpret what is happening . It's like " constituent " and move on to a better way of conversation. way
Dan : How do you know when to change the tone and message in the conversation to suit the audience and situation ?
Judith : We always send signals to each other about how we feel about a conversation while it is happening . However, we have not been trained to understand exactly what these signals are and how to interpret them in a healthy way for us lacks a dialogue of the deaf or stop listening ... way
Our brain takes the messages of trust and distrust in 0.07 seconds - is that moment . While we receive the " sensation, feeling , seeing and hearing " signals we are trying to treat and put words on them. It takes much more time to interpret what we feel or pick up and usually add interpretations and meanings that do not exist. way
I created a discussion board that makes it easier to interpret and respond to the " signs" that something is wrong .
When you see people resist - this is a sign that the reptilian brain (often called the amygdala ) has been activated and that the person is protected behavior. When this happens , pushing to be aggressive , not to say too much or require compliance will only increase resistance behaviors . Know that it is time to stop " the amygdala is not worse . way Lowering his voice , to be more sensitive to their needs and give them the space to send messages to the amygdala that you are not an enemy and not a friend . Such are the subtle cues that are exchanged every minute during a call . Knowing how to move people to the left of the right panel discussion is essential and vital for today's leaders . way
Dan : What are the ways to connect with people from different generations and levels of an organization?
Judith : Research shows that it is easier for us to get along with people who collect our brains that are similar or different and react accordingly, "like us" . way People of different generations can be seen as "different" - and in many ways they are. Career Boomers think differently baby boomers , for example, but these differences should not prevent people from participating and connect. Where is the difference or generational position , the answer is the same - instead of fear or a judge as difficult or different, enter the conversation with curiosity and openness to connect . way Respect goes a long way to open the connection between the mind and spirit. Getting others stimulates the flow of oxytocin , and let's get to know each other much easier. Do not forget to use the Tours conversation ... ( Question 2 ) Career
Dan : What are the most common mistakes when workers are involved in important conversations ? way
Judith : By participating in important conversations fear takes over too often. When we are in situations where the stakes are high , there is much to lose. This allows the production of " cortisol " , which is the fear of the hormone. We call this imagination " dreaded consequences " - or worst . Our behavior happening at the time . way Talk - Sale - Behavior Yell and fight for what we want to happen . We become addicted to being right , and stop listening to what others say. However, we can not recognize until it is too late or not at all. Career In essence , activate the opposite behavior we want to bring the situation . way We lose our voice activates our "blind spots" and do not see the consequences , we pause to listen, watch and listen to others - at great cost . intelligence
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